Back at my coffee shop, I'm updating a day early because I am feeling enlightened. It's Davina vs. MacBook battery right now, but hopefully I'll be able to publish this. I NEED to express myself.
I'm going to do this entry a little differently. Instead of babbling on in paragraph form about how I felt this morning, I thought I'd be a bit more creative.
A Message to my Midsection
I know we haven't communicated well in the past, so I'd like to take the time to apologize. We both know that I've hated you for most of my life. Any time I would look down and see you, I'd be discouraged. No matter what I could accomplish, seeing you in your state made me feel like I'd always be a failure. There were several occasions where I'd abuse you - I'd take a sharpie and write "FAT" across you, or I'd try wrapping you tightly so you'd hopefully disappear. (It's kind of ironic how people try to convince me that this is actually a healthy way to lose weight..... it's not.) I am sorry for the years I've abused you & thought poorly of you.
In my continued pursuit of a healthy lifestyle, I will make sure to remember to speak kindly to you. You are no longer excluded in my positive affirmations.
It took time - YEARS of effort. It took patience. It took investing in a self-love more powerful than any other type of love I've ever experienced. It wasn't until recently - the past few weeks or so - that I've started to feel confident with you. This morning in particular was a good morning for us.
I've never been happier. And I've never been more proud of you.
You are a constant reminder of hard work & what it means to take care of oneself.
You always have, and continue holding together some pretty important organs that operate without concern.
Maybe you aren't perfect - you aren't completely flat, and I don't think you ever will be. But I'm finally realizing that it's okay.
There are small pockets of skin - skin that used to carry so much more of what is no longer troublesome.
There are some stretch marks - an everyday visual reminder that, yet again, my body doesn't have to accommodate as much as it formerly has.
And, by strengthening your muscles, you currently are giving off such positive reinforcement. I've never been happier, and it's because you're working in the amazing ways that you are.
You will probably not look this way forever.
Perhaps I will grow sicker and will not look as strong.
Perhaps I will someday carry a child, which will cause you to stretch again.
Perhaps when I grow older, I will have even more skin pockets and bumps.
But, the state you are in right now is a dream come true.
I am pleased to have you.
I am grateful for your resilience.
And I can't wait to keep challenging you and to see how much farther you'll take me.
QUOTE OF THE DAY
"Nobody is perfect. I just don't believe in perfection. But I do believe in saying, "This is who I am and look at me not being perfect!". I'm proud of that.’" - Kate Winslet