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An Ode to My Metabolism

March 24, 2015

Dearest Metabolism,

I know I probably put you through a lot, but I'm blessed beyond words to have you.  This morning in particular has reminded me of your resilience, and I need to take a moment to express such gratitude.

On March 15th, I ran 13.1 miles without stopping.  Nine days later, aside from walking and my usual daily activities, I have not accomplished any physical activity whatsoever.  In addition, my eating habits have been atrocious.  I have given into stress eating multiple times, and I am still consuming carbohydrates as if I'll be running from Central Park to Wall Street again.  Such behaviors have caused me to feel lethargic, stressed, and bloated. 

Immediately, my self-doubt had been disturbed from its hibernation mode.  I thought, "I need to weigh myself soon.  I need to eat cleaner.  I need to get back on track with exercise.  I'm being careless and I'm gaining weight.  I just know it."  So, this week, I vowed to change my habits and get back into my conscious routine. 
But first, I knew I would have to face the music.  I had my measuring tape nearby, and I stepped on the scale.  I gave myself a peptalk, saying "Okay, as long as you see digits under 155, you'll forgive yourself and move on."

At the beginning of February, just prior to my race, I weighed 148.6.

Today, nearing the end of March, I weigh 149.

I have barely gained half a pound.  I could not believe it.  For once, this electronic box was on my side, encouraging me to lighten up.  I immediately felt both a sigh of relief but also a bit of disappointment in my confidence.  Metabolism, I treat you well.  I fuel myself properly 80% of the time to reward myself the remaining 20.  I work hard so life can be more enjoyable.  After all of these years of trying to rebuild you, metabolism, I am sorry that I still do not trust myself or you.  But, today, I learned a lesson.  Today I learned that, when you're held down for any reason, it's okay to stay on the ground for a minute... just as long as you always get back up.

So, metabolism...
My promise to you is to stop pressuring myself and to relax a little bit.
You know what you're doing.
I know what I'm doing.
Live and let live.

Thank you again for proving my own strength to me.  I really needed that.

With love,

Davina


QUOTE OF THE DAY
“When there is no enemy within, the enemies outside cannot hurt you.” - African Proverb
 

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