This entry is a public apology to my clients.
This entry is my "knock-it-off" statement to myself.
This entry is my foundation being totally rebuilt - meaningfully this time.
This whole "lifestyle change" of mine was completely for my own benefit. The moment that someone told me, "You've inspired me to change, too," was the moment that I recognized my destiny. I am so grateful to any and all who have reached out to me to begin their own transformations. It motivates me to the core to hear others' success stories and how they are feeling so much better. Therefore, it has become my obligation "to empower victimized women to shed their limiting habits and live in their happiest skin."
But sometimes, I'm not in my own happiest skin.
Sometimes, I get knocked down, then kicked while I'm down, and then I sink further down.
Sometimes, I feel like a terrible motivator.
Sometimes, I feel like I'm being a horrible example.
Sometimes, I feel like I can't do this.
I've spent the last month(ish) totally ignoring my clients and their goals because I had lost my grip on my own.
I have been stressed beyond belief, and I have lost my gumption to take care of myself.
I haven't been meal prepping.
I've barely been exercising.
I haven't slept well for weeks.
I've drank heavily.
I've moped and contemplated my existence.
And, most dangerously:
I've allowed the excuse of, "Well, I'm stressed." to be my mitigation.
And then I remembered my proclamation:
"2017 will be the best year of my life."
We're approaching the third month of 2017. I can't say this has been the best year of my life thus far. But, that promise to myself will not happen by saying "Well, I'm stressed." every time circumstances aren't ideal.
That mission CANNOT happen until I get over myself.
I'm currently reading "Failing Forward" by John C. Maxwell, and today's takeaway is what inspired this entry.
"We overestimate the event and underestimate the process. Every fulfilled dream occurred because of dedication to a process."
DEDICATION to a PROCESS.
This is so important, so I wanted to share it with all of you.
You can't gain downhill momentum without first pedaling uphill.
You can't pedal uphill without patience, effort, and discipline.
So I'll take my own advice. Here's what I'm doing to get back onto my own process:
1. I'm taking an unplugged weekend to get some fresh air, meditate, and restrategize how I would like to operate as an entrepreneur outside of my current 8-4 workday.
2. I am doing the Whole30 in March - not to punish myself for poor choices, but to remind myself of my incredible willpower.
3. I am going to follow my MMA training as the regimen is perfectly 30 days long. I will also do strength training on days that I have great energy. But, in doing my research, I know that my energy will fluctuate during the Whole30, so I will be patient with myself and rest as needed.
4. I am abstaining from alcohol until I feel physically well enough to recognize that it's for spirit, not for antidote.
5. I am no longer attending self-pity parties. My reaction to my circumstances is far more important than what simply happens to me.
I will give myself some credit. I am damn proud of the fact that I can recognize when my behavior is unhealthy, and I am even more proud that I know exactly how to reverse these habits. I think that's the reason (aside from 5-10 fluctuations) that I've kept off 50 lbs for close to four years. And I would absolutely love to help anyone else recognize that this isn't just a Davina power. I believe in every single person gaining control of their happiness indefinitely. If you're reading this, I most definitely believe in you, too.
I can't wait to apply what I discover during my "March Madness" this year. And I can't wait to pass it on to anyone who needs it.
But for now: it's okay to be a work in progress.
Be brave, trust the process, and know that I'm here for you always.
QUOTE OF THE DAY
"The only way you can get ahead is to fail early, fail often, and fail forward." - John C. Maxwell